


What I Spied With These Brown Eyes

by Jayenator565



Series: I Spy With These Little Eyes, Something Beginning With...You [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4925368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayenator565/pseuds/Jayenator565
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spy AU<br/>She knew she’d be special the moment she saw her but she couldn’t yet tell in what way. Not until she soundly got her ass handed to her on a silver platter by said blonde-haired supposedly minimally trained Clarke Griffin. No it was only after she was rubbing her sore ass and being helped up by, not her best friend and Command, Lexa Woods but by Bellamy Blake instead that something began to click.</p><p>It was the later overly protective nature that cleared the fog from her eyes and made her wonder.<br/>OR<br/>Clarke and Lexa's growing relationship from the eyes of Lexa's best friend<br/>OR<br/>Raven recounts everything she knows pertaining to Clarke Griffin and Lexa Woods to the interim Command, Anya</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Spied With These Brown Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> You really should read at least I Spy with My Little Eyes, before this...it may not make too much sense alone
> 
> I don't want to accidentally trigger anyone. There's nothing terribly graphic in this but there is mention of blood and implied death and possible self harm so please. The tags let you know but i'm just giving a final heads up.

 

 

Name: Reyes, Raven

Alias: Tonya Stark (?)

Age: 21

Position: Interim Chief Engineer/Head Mechanical Engineer

Team: Command Elite Guard

Intelligence: 10/10

Strength: 7/10

Speed: 5/10

Last known Location: The Ark, Main Base

Status: Active

Agent Log

 

Lexa has never exactly been the emotional type. I of all people would know. Maybe there was a time where she was more free and open to letting people in. But if that happened it was before I really got to know her. Maybe even before you got to know her. Before she watched her parents being brutally murdered at the tender age of 6. Before she saw what was left of Costia’s blood in her new home.

But back on track. Clarke. She was different. Obviously we were all given the same report logs on her, typical legacy, assumed to be trained more in medical than field positions like her mother. This was associated with the fact that she wanted to study medicine and that when she was on base she was with her mother more often than not.

 Abigail Griffin her mother, chief Medical Officer and member of the council. Served as Command for almost 2 years before quitting from the grief of losing her husband and even though not physically, losing her daughter as well.

Jake Griffin, chief Engineer, expert in bio-engineering as was his father before him. Basically he was in charge of all the heads of engineering which, let me tell you, super stressful. Have you ever tried to delegate work with those guys? Engineers can almost never agree because someone always knows how to do something better than someone else. I’ll be overjoyed when Sinclair comes back to take over. Ehem, also member of the council, honestly the Griffins were a pretty hot power couple but I digress…Killed after then Command was given information wrongfully accusing him of being a traitor to the Ark. Which, we all know with certainty, was false.

Finally Clarke Griffin, blue-eyes, blonde-haired popular chick wonder. She was…not what any one of us expected. I had met her a few times previous, at the academy, in base and even once at her home. Her father and my adopted parent, Sinclair. They were pretty close. She was the picture perfect representation of the dumb cheerleader type but of course she was a legacy so I never met her with the mentality that she wasn’t smart, but then she didn’t seem particularly athletic either.

Anyway Clarke, Lower Level Legacy training, average stats for strength and speed, exceptional intelligence scores. It was clear she got all the good genes from her folks, looks, smarts. After her father’s unfortunate death she went off the grid quite quickly. Only ever returned to her house once to one of Jake’s secret basement store rooms that Abby swore she knew nothing about. It was assumed she took some of his old field videos and prototypes with her. I guess we can safely confirm that now.

The cloaking jacket for one, the extendable vibration staff, a stun gun, a freaking katana and hearing aid for another. None of which, by the way, showed up the day I tailed her to her university class and took a surface scan. Apparently the cloaking tech in her jacket blocked even our sensors. Our full x-rays couldn’t even crack the damn thing. All we found was the gun she purposely kept in her bag, and it didn't even have in real bullets. Jake Griffin is officially my idol in case that wasn’t clear.

Pretty sure home girl had some other implants as well but only Lexa would be able to tell you. They uh…they got close. I mean it wasn’t glaringly obvious, not unless you really knew where to look and what you were looking for.

 

\--

 

It is…was. It was a heated sort of thing. It didn’t necessarily burn but it’s fair to say it was like embers. Once their love caught, and I do not use that term lightly because they were for all intents and purposes in love or at the very least falling. It was the kind of love that once it caught there really was no stopping it. And we all know I’m not the deep philosophical kind of shit that likes to delve into the deep infinity that is people and feelings and the passions we indulge in…But there was really no other way to describe _them._

You could see it if you knew how to look. Because Lexa wasn’t a feelings kind of person but when Clarke got shot with not one but two floating icers, I swear I had never seen her so angry.

Lexa didn’t put her down for a second. She held her, heck if I really think back she _cradled_ her unconscious body in the van ride, all the way back to base. She only put her down after Nyko’s insistence. And then she only left her side to berate Murphy. Something I think everyone on the team won’t soon forget. She didn’t even let me put her through our deep scanner without her being there.

It took me an hour give or take, between scanning Clarke, watching Murphy get ripped a new one, retrieving the results and checking on the team. O and I, were limping along to the café, just happened to take the route that stopped by medical. Lexa was still there, vigilant. I don’t think she even fully debriefed with Indra. The first thing I noticed was her mask, that wall she puts up, it wasn’t gone but it was cracking. Some concern leaked through. Then I realized she was awake. That badass motherfucker was shot with floating icers. One is enough to tranq a theoretical Hulk. She got shot with 2 and I rest my case because how the fuck was she sitting up let alone lucid? I saw it just for a moment before Octavia went into her spiel of how awesome her roomie was, the anxiety, the worry in Lexa’s eyes. Heh, that kid.

Clarke seemed woefully unaware even as the inevitable pinning phase began. Our Command is the type of person that can go days without properly maintaining herself. By that I mean, she’ll bathe she’ll bloody exercise in circles around us but that all comes secondary to getting her work done. And then actual eating and sleeping, that gets left somewhere on the backburner. I tried, honestly I did to help her stay healthy. Because without her hell knows this place would turn into a shit storm. But let’s be honest here, I’m not much good at the whole sleeping and eating thing either.

So that’s the first thing I would thank Clarke for if I could. Because when I went to look for my bestie to see if she wanted dinner the next week and couldn’t find her Indra told me she had went to update Clarke on the mission. And when I limped down there to pull her ass away from stressing our still recovering asset do you know what I saw? I saw her smile, like truly smiling. Not that little mouth quirk when I sass someone because she's Command and she can’t really laugh at it. Not the chuckles I sometimes pull out of her on our off days watching ridiculous YouTube videos and playing chess. No she was radiant and laughing because of her. So that’s actually another thing I would thank Clarke for if I could.

Now I know that look and obviously I didn’t just waltz in there and see them. Even I wouldn’t be that bold, but hacking the internal camera feed. That I would do. I couldn’t tell you what they were watching but somehow she got Command’s super-secret laptop, you know the one with all the classified files, yeah she got that into her lap and somehow convinced our Lexa to use it as a source of entertainment.

I can tell you now though, it wasn’t the video that had Lexa smiling and laughing, because she hardly looked towards the screen. That idiot couldn’t see the heart eyes on her own face. And Clarke, she looked almost affectionate too but I’m guessing she was way better at hiding it around pretty girls. Command’s one weakness. I deleted the footage after.

So of course I teased her about it when these dinner dates began to be a daily thing, like how could I not?

 

\--

 

“Nice weather we’re having huh?”

“…Excuse me?”, she was tired anyone could see. Long day of work, probably just stopping by my workplace to check on how we can replicate the jacket and see how Monty’s doing on the transfer virus programming.

I love her like a sister truly and we are very close but this? Teasing her about well _her_? That was something new to me, I panicked and well…weather

She cocked her damn immaculate eyebrows at me.

“Eaten any good food lately?”

Now at this point she just kinda stared in wonder so I just sorta cut to the chase

“Didn’t really know blondes were your type but hey, whatever floats your boat. I mean she’s hot I’ll give you that.”

I turned back to my work station, let her reason it out from there. Whether or not she truly knew the extent of her feelings yet was made abundantly clear by the extended silence. I smirked I mean I had to. The perfect model for Command that you guys had hand-picked and groomed from her birth had broken the one rule set out for her specifically. No parents, no real family to speak of, no loved ones except maybe you and me. All she had to do was remain unattached. Completely unaffected because this was now a war for the state of the world. Tough choices had to be made and we couldn’t afford any biased opinions on doing what had to be done for the ‘greater good’. She had to do whatever it took, make whatever call was necessary to get our stolen files deleted, wipe the Mountain Men’s servers and annihilate them.

So falling for the very asset we only recruited to go on a potentially suicidal mission into their base. That was a huge no no. And it only got worse after the drama that was the council meeting.

“You two need to just start fucking like god.”

Her blush made my day. I swear I heard her choke on thin air before she tried to deny it

“I have no idea what you’re talking-“

“Bullshit. I mean you guys are making me aroused just in general, I’m pretty sure the girls have all been sporting lady boners and the guys have semi-hard on’s constantly-“

“Ok Rae,”

“No but for real, you two are the definition of do me eyes-“

After I finally coerce her into admitting to at least liking her because god forbid she makes things easy for me, she leaves and I take the opportunity to have a chat with the ever infamous Griffin.

Or I would have if she and Lexa weren’t currently in a very heated debate in her office. Abby stormed out, walked right past me like we haven’t known each other for years. Like I didn’t help her and Sinclair out while they grieved at the horrible mistake that had been made.

Abby…she was pissed. I followed her all the way back to her living area without her noticing.

“What’s up Doc?”

She turned to me sharply, clearly not amused, “What’s up? Really Raven?”

I looked sheepish I mean, maybe I wasn’t the best with words and feelings either, just something me and Lexa had in common. Maybe it’s why we’re such good friends.

“Look I’m sorry, you know me and words never really meshed beyond formulas and syntax.”

She sighed then, body sagging looking thoroughly exhausted. She wasn’t even looking at me, just kind of in my direction, eyes void of meaning.

“I lost my husband and then my daughter in the span of a month. Then I find out that my little girl is back, has been for weeks because she’s going into an almost impossible mission scenario with about a 52% chance of survival and retrieval. She’s back and I may just lose her again and-“

She cut off, placed a hand over her mouth to try and muffle her cries. I did the only thing I could, hold her till she was done.

“It’s ok Command says she’ll do great.”

“Alexandria. I made her promise to leave her alone I…how can I ever trust her word when she says Clarke will be fine?”

We had moved to her couch, taking her weight off my leg and she looked up at me, like I could somehow solve all of this. But I couldn’t and we both knew it

“You don’t have to trust Command, trust your daughter and trust me. Abby we will do whatever it takes to bring her back safe you know this. Believe it or not in the short time we’ve known her, we’ve come to care about her Abby. We will do what we can.”

 Gotta admit, I got pretty choked up there.

Because who was I to really be making those kinds of promises, for imparting false hope into a depressed widow? 

 

\--

 

“Can we talk?”

I was surprised, I had spent the better part of that week trying to get Griffin alone to give the whole best friend intimidation tactic that obviously wouldn’t serve much of a purpose than showing Clarke I cared but hey, I was willing to try. I didn’t get this chance often.

Imagine my face when I turn to find that she’s sought me out in her free time instead of say, a certain red sashed, braided-haired, brunette.

I quickly nodded when I realized she was waiting for my go ahead before continuing.

“Do you think I can do this? Like really do this?” The look on my face must have spoken for itself because she went on to ramble

“I mean of course no one else is at my level that’s a given and I don’t mean it like I want someone to take over the mission for me, I simply mean my odds, statistically. What are the odds that I do this successfully and then return alive?”

I looked at her then, like really looked at her. She was worried but this wasn’t the kind of worry that you feel when you’re scared for your life. She was worried about someone else and I could bet I knew who.

“We’ll get you back here just fine Griff, Lexa and I got you.”

If she was shocked by my casual use of Command’s name she didn’t show it, rather a pink blush slowly stained her cheeks and she avoided my gaze

“She did tell me you were the closest thing she has to a best friend.” She finally sighed and looked at me, straight into my eyes.

“I get that I do, i know you guys'll back me up as much as possible but let's be frank. No matter what when I get out there i'll be alone. She’s already gone through so much. She has internalized so much pain and I’m only just getting her to open up.”

Yup the best friend speech would have been the epitome of redundant at this point with the way those two were falling for each other. It was actually pretty gross.

“I know. Your odds are pretty fifty-fifty to put it plainly. You don’t need to worry about Lexa…Still...just in case.”

I knew she wouldn’t approve so I never told her. Lexa was never really supposed to find out but I guess in the last transmission Clarke let it slip. Can’t really blame her. Battling off who knows how many guards armed with guns and grenades and who knows what else? Who gives a flying fuck what comes out of your mouth. It's just your last words to the one you love, you don't really think too hard on the specifics at that point. Life flashing, you just say what comes to mind.

A pill. A tweak on Aconitum or Monkshood. Nasty poison. All I really did was speed up the more lethal effects, tried to stave off the stomach issues you know, just in case someone actually survived. It starts within seconds, paralysis, loss on brain function. Not nearly perfected but I thought they’d do the trick. In a worst case scenario we know Command would have made the call and made me give her the pills. But when Clarke was involved she could never fully be Command so I made the call for her.

 

\--

 

No Lexa was never the emotional type. And Clarke had single-handedly broken down ever barrier imaginable in just a month and a few weeks. At the time I wanted to hug her, give her a real hard squeeze. But now…I had just been told and well, no one’s taking it particularly well. Bellamy’s staying behind to inform Octavia and her team but me? Well there’s really only one place I should be.

I didn’t know why at the time but now I do. Something in me was telling me to hurry. It was urgent that I reach Lexa and that I reach her _now_. So I did something I hadn’t truly done in years since I got my leg brace.

I did more than run, I sprinted

As hard as I possibly could

Passing the corridors and corners to where I knew her office lay. Past a distraught Indra who didn’t even bother to look up at my approach. Past Ryder who stood guard way too far down the hall from her office door.

That’s when I heard it, the screams, the sounds of destruction. I had never heard her sound so broken, the _wail_ that escaped from that room broke my heart to pieces. I finally slowed when it became eerily silent.

That was how I found her, bloody, torn, an utterly lost look in her eyes as she continued to punch the wall by the main mission control console. Shaking silently, biting her lip to muffle her screams.

Her knuckles were raw, her eyes flooded with more emotions than I had ever seen. That was when I noticed not all the blood dripping down her hands was not from her punches.

 

That was when I noticed the deep gashes carved into her wrists

…

 

“Thank you agent Reyes, that’ll be all. I’ll let you know if we need anything else.”

“Ok.” I said suddenly numb, “Your prosthetic should be done later this evening if you want to pick it up Anya.”

I feel myself nodding, still trying to process the words I just gave. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that much blood. To whoever’s listening I’ve never been particularly religious but this time I’ll say a prayer. Because this girl, my best friend, deserves so much more than the hand she was given.

 

 

 


End file.
